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From the Editor / February 6, 2013


Dear Sexy Single Mommy,

How would you handle the following situation:

I attended a Super Bowl Party given by my best friend.  I helped purchase food and the event was “Bring a Bottle” meaning, bring a bottle to share with everyone.  At the end of the night, as were cleaning up, I grabbed two bottles of liquor and announced that I was taking them home.  My best friends sister said, ‘How are you gonna take liquor?”  Even if you bought it, you don’t take stuff that you bring to a party!”

Once again, I announced that I was taking the liquor and by now, I had moved closer to my best friend’s sister and said it again.  She told me to get out of her face and that I wasn’t taking anything.  She then proceeded to say, “I told my sister about hanging out with Ratchet Bitches!”  Of course, I was surprised and hurt by being called, Ratchet.  I have always felt like my sister’s best friend never liked me, although I look at her and respect her as a sister.  Where I come from, being called, Ratchet is like being called a Bitch.  Actually, I think that being called Ratchet is worse! RATCHET 1

I tried to talk to my best friends sister after this all happened and she didn’t want to discuss it.  The problem is that because she is my best friends sister, I will see and be around her all the time.  Do I try to talk to her again, now that things have cooled off a bit or do I just ignore her going forward?

What The Sexy Single Mommy Would Do?

1.  Let me start by saying that although I have heard and used the term, Ratchet, I had to look up the definition to ensure that I was using it correctly especially when you said that to you , it was worse than being called a bitch.  According to the Urban Dictionary, it means:  1. “A diva, mostly from urban cities and ghettos, that has reason to believe she is every mans eye candy. Unfortunately, she’s wrong.” 2.  “a term for someone who is either 1. a whore 2. dirty/nasty 3. ghetto as HELL 4. being annoying 5. busted”  3.  “A ghetto girl who is loud and obnoxious and constantly causing drama and usually trashy.”

2.  Now that I know the “meaning” of the word, I guess that I too, would agree that being called ratchet is worse than being called a bitch.  However, taking liquor from a party is not acceptable unless the hostess gave it to you.  You didn’t mention that your BFF said that you could have it, so I am assuming that she did not.  Proper etiquette is that when you bring something to a party, you don’t take it with you when you leave nor do you lay claim to something that was not offered to you by the hostess.  That in and of itself may be an exhibition of ratchet behavior.

3.  You mentioned that you didn’t think that you BFF’s sister liked you.  Maybe she doesn’t and what she said was a buildup of how she feels about you.  If this is indeed the case, I wouldn’t waste my breath reaching out to her.  Continue to be cordial when you are around her but you don’t have to be her friend.


Now is the time for you to tell me…WHAT WOULD YOU DO?


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on February 6, 2013

Wow I never knew the definition of ratchet was soooo harsh! I always use it in a playful manner and would never actually call someone ratchet if I was mad at them. Well I never name call period. So I agree with what you said you do not take anything from a gathering/party unless it is offered to you. Hell, I take offense if the host tells me to leave with what I brought with me. I think her sister was out of line I don’t think that was a ratchet act. I do think the young lady may have been comfortable enough at her BFFs house to lay came on the liquor and she did help purchase food. I think it was harmless and not necessary ratchet. But if that chick would have called me a ratchet bitch we would have had a serious problem, lol. I over think things and I would have immediately assumed that she talked about me to her sister behind my back and then I would have really been upset.

    on February 6, 2013

    Shea, you bring about a good point. It wasn’t that big of a deal and her BFF’s sister blew it way out of proportion

on February 6, 2013

I just had someone do that for the super bowl. I think it’s tacky to take something with you. I actually said something to the person once I realized what they had done. The worst part is I caught them trying to take food out of my pantry at the beginning of the evening trying to say they left it here when the moved out a year ago. Naw boo, I threw out everything you left behind. Go to the store and buy your own.

    on February 6, 2013

    Damn…food out of your pantry? That’s trifiling!

on February 6, 2013

Wow! I can’t believe that it went that far with someone that was considered a sister. I’m not sure how I would handle that… Hmmm. #TouchySubject #RiseAbove

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