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Health, Beauty & Fashion / Single Mommy Stuff / February 25, 2013

Very recently – I chose to face some very uncomfortable music, and eventually, I chose to dance.

I wanted (really needed) to buy some new jeans that would fit my (currently) larger frame. The black leggings in which I have living (hiding) needed to be given a break. I had some larger size jeans tucked away in the guest room closet on the off-chance that I might gain a few pounds back (which goes to show you that if you want to take the island, burn the boats). However, those jeans represented all I left behind, and although convenient and free, it made my skin crawl to even think about putting those frumpy things back on. So, off I went, knowing full well that the size of the jeans I would purchase would be disheartening, upsetting, and downright disgusting. Time to face the music…  FACE THE MUSIC

Two years ago, when I had lost the majority of my weight, I needed new jeans. Up till that point, I had favored Ralph Lauren jeans – safe, high waisted, stretchy, and what the kids today describe as “Mom” jeans (no offensive to Mr. Lauren whose clothes I love).  I kept buying them in small sizes because they were a sure thing, boring and less than stylish, but sure. I didn’t have the confidence at that point to go out on any limb and show off my new form in anything less than jeans that seemed to sit somewhere near my chin.FACE THE MUSIC

One day, a friend told me about Lucky jeans. He extolled their virtues, and said that my new body deserved some new jeans. On his advice, I set out on a pilgrimage to the store, and I can clearly recall my first visit. I circled outside for some time thinking I did not belong anywhere near this hip and trendy establishment. Where were the oversized people pants? Mustering my courage, I walked in and an hour later walked out a delighted customer – wearing a very small size jean that hugged every new curve in all the right new places. These new jeans sat right on my hips, miles below where my old mom jeans sat, and much to my surprise, the dozen muffins top I once had were gone, and those jeans were a testimony to fat’s labor lost. To say I loved them is an understatement. And the sizes? Well, they were is a wonderfully small size that I never thought I could wear, and I was truly proud of my accomplishments each and every time I slipped them over my hips.

I arrived at the mall, and headed to the store where the “safe” jeans lived. I had a renewed feeling of irritation at myself forFACE THE MUSIC having to shop for larger sizes, and that lead to a feeling that I didn’t deserve nice jeans. Wandering around looking at various styles, trying to talk myself into one boring thing after the other, it struck me. I am dumping my frump slump! No matter what size, fabulous is what it is all about. Anything less than that is completely unacceptable! Out the door I walked, and knew exactly where I had to go.

Walking in the door of the next store, I had a moment of doubt and fear. What size would I be? Would they laugh at a slightly older lady trying to squeeze into their styles? Was I too large to deserve such hip clothing? Blah blah blah…enough. Deep breath – “time to face the music”.  I walked up to a young man and introduced myself. He shook my hand and told me his name was Brandon. I stated my purpose, and told him no matter what, I wanted to look great and feel even better. With that, the quest began. Midway through trying on the first style, it happened.  FACE THE MUSIC

“There may be tear drops to shed…” Oh and there were. I sat in that dressing room and shed more than a few tear drops. Metamorphosis includes destruction to re-form and grow stronger. Brandon was so helpful – and quickly came to my aid with darker wash jeans, a suede jacket and truthful words of what looked good and what didn’t. 45 minutes later, I left the Lucky Store feeling more fabulous than I have in months. Why? Because, now I know, and even though I am not where I will be soon, I deserve to be fabulous right here and right now. I dumped some of my frump slump and it felt awesome!

I faced a major hurdle in that store. I know where I stand. I am no longer hiding, or telling myself any lies about my current state. I faced the music. Have you faced yours yet? If not, I highly recommend doing it. It is the truth that will set you free to dump your frump slump.

Now – let’s dance!



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Carol Fitzgerald
Carol Fitzgerald Tyler believes in the basics - be authentic and transparent in all things. After releasing 103 pounds without surgery, she loves telling her inspiring story and working with people on their own transformations as often as possible. She is an executive, motivational speaker, author, strategic consultant, and distance event participant - to date, including four full marathons, twelve half marathons, three 60 Mile 3 Day for the Cure events, and numerous 10k and 5K’s - all after the age of 40 and a challenging diagnosis of fibromyalgia. She doesn't go fast – she just keeps on going. Carol has been a nationally featured speaker and industry recognized expert in organizational change management and communications strategy. She is a major advocate of seizing the moment, and of dumping slumps - hers and yours! Committed to the mantra "Show Up And Try" - Carol loves to find a way - no matter what. Facebook - Carol Fitzgerald Tyler LinkedIn - Carol Fitzgerald Tyler Twitter - @cfitztyler

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on February 25, 2013

I love this! I am just beginning to realize that even if I’m not the size I want to be, I deserve to look nice. When I dress nicely, I feel more confident, even if I’m not at the pinnacle of fitness. I’m not going to shame my frame simply because it’s not the shape I want it to be.

    on February 27, 2013

    Hello Tai,
    You deserve to look wonderful and fabulous always – no matter what the size! Thank you for your comments and all my best to you!

on February 25, 2013

Portia, I agree with that so many women can relate to this. I have been there, as well.

on February 27, 2013

Hello Portia,
Thank you so much for the comment and for loving my post. I am so happy to hear that you are loving the skin you are in – and I know you are fabulous right here and right now!

All my best to you! Take care,

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