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So What You Saying?
Let’s get right down to the nitty gritty and address the question that I am always asked by men. “Why are you single?” “As beautiful as you are, I can’t believe that you don’t have a man.” “You would make a good wife, how come you aren’t married?” To this I usually respond, “Because I haven’t found the right one yet,” but honestly, that’s the short answer. I have to give the short answer because frankly, the long answer would take too much time for such a simple question and I don’t want to scare off the men who are asking this question with the REAL answer.
Generally after asking your name, the next question is, “Are you single?” At that time, I respond yes, and I have always generally responded, yes (see my previous post for an explanation of this.) and then as always, the next question is, “Why?” Since you are reading this blog, I assume that you have a little time on your hands, so relax while I break it down for you.
The reasons why I’m single is because of several things. The first reason is because I haven’t found the “right one” and let my sisters tell it, I won’t find anyone like Jesus. They think that I am looking for the “perfect” man and in some ways this may be true. I mean, Jesus is the bomb. Think about it. He is honest, giving, trustworthy, loves people, loves God, empathetic, courageous, a good listener, a provider and the list goes on and on. Who wouldn’t want a man like that? Seriously, I am not looking for a “perfect man” but he does have some criteria to meet but I will save my list to the end.
The second reason that I am single is because I like my independence. I am comfortable with being by myself. Truth be told, I like it. I have never been the type of woman that likes to sit up under a guy. I want him to go hang out with his friends. Do your own thing. Let me miss you. Yes, there are times that I like to be “cupcaked up,” but there are many more times that I want to be in one room and you in another. No, I don’t have to watch the game with you. No, I don’t want to be around you 24/7. I need my space. Now, maybe I feel this way because I am not in love with anyone or I haven’t met anyone that I WANT to be around like that but I am almost positive that when I do, I will still need my own space.
The third reason that I am single is because I have a low tolerance for bullshit. I don’t have time for games and drama. I have been there and done that. I don’t believe in the whole, “3 strikes,” give a fool a chance to keep fucking up. Look, you only get one time! My philosophy is that at 38 years old, I don’t have time to waste. If I let you fuck up 3 times, that is time that I wasted. Why would I do that? Life is too short and my tolerance is even shorter. Patience is one thing that I don’t have and I don’t have time to wait for a man that doesn’t have his shit together. Point blank. Period!! Enough said on reason 3.
The fourth reason that I am single is plainly put, Guys from LA are, for the most part, full of shit. LA is a big place. Now, ladies, I am sure that men from places other than LA are full of shit, as well, however, my point of reference is LA. There are many men (not all) that think they can have a women in LA, another in Cerritos and another in Northridge and they will never find out about each other. WRONG! LA may be big and all, but men are stupid. They don’t know how to cheat, thus they get caught….OFTEN!!! Take it from a “reformed” Playa. I know!! They can’t remember their lies, they don’t remember to turn the ringer off at night, etc. etc. Now, I am not the type of woman that goes looking for stuff. I don’t check phones and don’t answer them either. It’s not that serious. Whatever is done in the dark will come out in the light, so if you are doing something wrong, I WILL find out eventually.
The fifth reason that I am single is…I AM TOO DAMN PICKY!! I am not sure if that is necessarily a bad thing or not. I know what I like and there are some things that I won’t compromise on. This is where my “list” comes into play. All the things that I said Jesus was earlier are on my list, plus the following: Must be at least 6’1 but preferably 6’5 or 6’6, employed, a gentleman, be able to hold a decent conversation, be versed in current events, have a good relationship with his mother, have a sense of humor, love kids, be good with money, know how to conduct himself in any social setting, be supportive, have his own opinion, have his own place without any roommates, like to travel, confident, ambitious, loyal, affectionate, and fashionable.
I don’t think that is too much to ask for. I think that my list is very realistic, however, trying to find a man with everything on my list has proven to be extremely hard. Therefore, I have stopped trying to find him myself and let God send him to me. Hopefully, God and I see eye to eye on my list and he will be everything that I asked for and more. Until then, I will continue to work on me and the issues that I have, so that when God sends him, I will be able to receive him. Until then, I guess I will continue to be The Sexy Single Mommy in all of my glory!!!