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Catch Me Elsewhere
It’s no secret that dating is hard when you’re a single mom. As if it wasn’t hard enough to juggle your parenting duties and your work duties, you can easily spend countless hours in search of the right companion. It’s a difficult, enduring search for someone who is right for you and your child.
In order to find the right guy, you should have an idea of who you shouldn’t date. Here are the five guys no single mom should date and the behaviors to be aware of.
You’re probably not going to spend your whole date talking about your child. But, the topic is bound to come up. When you do mention your little love, check his reaction. Does he sound upset and immediately change the conversation?
If you make a phone call to the sitter and he starts shooting daggers with his eyes, that’s red flag number one. Some men can’t handle the attention going to someone else, and that’s not going to fly in a relationship. He needs to be ok with the fact that your child is a priority and deserves your attention.
This rule doesn’t apply if your child has no father in the picture. However, even if your child’s father only spends time with your loved one every few weeks, he’s bound to have a run-in with your new partner. Instead of finding out how he reacts when the run-in happens, you can see how your date handles it when you bring it up in conversation.
Casually mention that your ex will be picking up your daughter next weekend (or whenever it will happen), and see how he reacts. If he starts asking questions, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s bad news. But, if he seems really bothered by the fact that your ex is a part of your life (whether or not you like it), things will only get worse. You should be dating a guy who understands that your ex will always be involved with your child and isn’t insecure about you seeing him.
When you’re a mom, it’s hard to make plans. You never know when a play-date, cold, or temper-tantrum will get in the way of your plans. Some men can’t handle this and will hold a grudge if you cut your date short.
The right man will be the kind of guy that’s happy to do things spontaneously, and doesn’t mind doing the unexpected. Plans change, but people don’t. Don’t date a guy who isn’t ok with changes.
Although it’s great to meet a guy who fully accepts that you have a child, it’s not so great to meet a guy who pushes too hard to meet her. You probably don’t plan to introduce someone to your child unless you’re sure that the relationship is going places, so don’t be pressured into an early introduction. If he can’t respect your wishes to wait, he probably won’t respect other parenting decisions you make. Make it clear that your child will meet him when you’re ready, and if he can’t handle that, he’s got to go.
A single woman without a child should avoid a self-centered man, and that type of guy is even worse for a woman with a child. Is he constantly talking about himself? Does he seem to ignore everything you say? No matter how good-looking he is, he’s a bad match. A self-centered guy could never understand that your child is the most important thing in your life. He will probably grow to resent your child, and that’s not healthy for anyone.
With some men, you might not realize that they’re the wrong guy until it’s too late. Stay away from the five types of guys listed above, and prevent yourself from making a huge mistake. The right guy is out there.