My “Single Because” story started in my 20’s. At that time of my life, I prioritized motherhood. I never wanted my son to see me dating multiple men, so I just didn’t date. Everything I knew about men and relationships, I learned from my male friends and family members but I didn’t fully embracethose learnings until my late 30’s. The foundation: what you accept from a man teaches him how to treat you.
I Am Single Because…
My last relationshipended in 2012. I was tired but nowhere near sad. I was relieved and happy to finally to be free from the negativity I’d accepted for so long. Determined to not repeat the extreme wackness that ensued throughout that ordeal, I decided to take inventory. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I knew I brought many positive attributes to the table but it was what I lacked that was causing the issues in my relationships.
I am Single Because…
My self-esteem was extremely low. I didn’t know myself but I could tell you all about the hopes, dreams and goals of my friends, family, even random strangers who’ve felt comfortable enough to tell me their stories. In my mind, I had never been good enough and felt that I always needed to give someone a reason to be with me. I would plow head first into “what can I do to fix your broken life”-mode, not realizing that I was attracting men who were just as, if not more, wounded than I was.
I am Single Because…
I took time to work on myself and through prayer, forgiveness(of myself and others) and a network of amazing women who encouraged my growth, I emerged stronger and firmly aware of who I am: a strong, beautiful woman that deserves every great thing that comes her way. Self-care has become a priority and a necessity. My peace is sacred and I am fiercely protective of it. God has removed a lot of dead weight from my life and I can only believe that the purpose was to make room for the love I’ve always desired but never had the capacity for until now – starting with the new and improved love I have for myself.
Today, at 42, I’m cautiously open to the possibilities. The man that captures my attention (and my heart) will have to be very special: of strong character, unafraid to expose his insecurities and willing to embrace the parts of himself that he’s the least proud of and decide to grow from those things. His love will not be what I use to determine my worth but a compliment to how I already feel about myself. He’s out there somewhere and like me, he’s worth the wait.
*The author of this “Single Because” story wished to remain anonymous*
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Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.