Kierra Shread, the gospel singing powerhouse who has the ability to mesmerize the mothers of the church and an audience of hip hop fans with her voice, recently opened up about a toxic relationship and how she is getting to know herself. The 28-year old, Grammy Award Nominee, shared her story on her blog, I Am Kierra Sheard, take a peek at what she had to say….
“Went to the store today and spotted him with another woman in the store. It stung a little I wanted to cry but I didn’t. It’s almost like I’ve become immune to disappointment. He was coming out with a huge bottle of 40. Something that I hate. At first he wasn’t even going to speak to me. Then I pulled around and I wanted to run him over. It all ran through my mind, but I kept driving. I see that he’s just not it and though there aren’t any guys in my life that are keeping my attention I might as well make it up in my mind to just let him go! Maybe this is time that I need to get to know me. on second thought, I shouldn’t need distractions to keep my mind off of someone who treats me so bad. This reveals to me that I have a problem with myself. It’s time to release all toxic relationships, or people who no longer compliment my purpose in life.
If there is absolutely no characteristic of heaven in my relationships, I no longer want the hell that comes with it.
I’m making a promise to myself to even build a better relationship with myself. I don’t want them to have space in my life nor will I allow them to have any mental space. I’m not happy with him. He doesn’t bring me happiness; I don’t even find rest there anymore. He brings me fear and worry. The bible says that Love casts out all fear but this “love” is causing fear and anxiety. There’s a flag for me to acknowledge. I’m not into the reality show drama, I have too much going for myself. The woman that he was with had platinum blonde box braids and she was very nice actually. Didn’t seem to be my cup of tea. But all of the women that he’s been with haven’t been that way. One thing I have learned in all of this, is that the woman is never my problem. I did see growth here. Seeing him walk away with another woman was perfect for me to see. It was something I needed. If I said yes to him, This would always be the story of my life. I have so much going on and there are so many others who are interested in me. But I’m just attached to him. I want the attachment broken and I want to let this be the final walk away. We argued non stop and then it was the other struggle. The good times didn’t outweigh the bad. Enough is enough. My mind is more clear without him. As I pulled off I thanked God for allowing me to see this. I’ll make decisions with this visual in mind. I’ll be sure to know that I don’t have more time to give to something that is sucking the life out of me. Thank you.“
Things I wrote while still learning. I hope this helps someone to release whatever isn’t for them. I pray that you handle your business with class because 2 years before this, I would have chased him with the car. This doesn’t make the guy this terrible person because he has growing to do, but it did mark an expiration date on this relationship. We as women are called to be help meets to the man we will soon marry, not project managers or half-way mothers. And they aren’t called to be financial plans, or the father that you never had. Relationships could be healthy, if we became healthy individuals before connecting. This was all apart of my growth. Let it develop you, but don’t let it kill you! This will not be a bash men blog, but i will share experiences that i think will inspire others to love themselves.
I am so glad that Kierra was so open in this blog post because I think that many people believe that when you are a Christian, you don’t go through things. I believe that her testimony is one that so many women can relate to and if you are reading this and you’re in a toxic relationship, hopefully Kierra’s story spoke to your heart and will help you walk away from a toxic relationship.