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Catch Me Elsewhere
Recently a friend of mine posted this on Facebook and my blood immediately began to boil. This is what he posted:
“I meet so many women who will block their own blessing by EXPECTING a man to bring something to the imaginary table. When in reality if u holding it down it shouldn’t matter what he brings, cause u got this. #strongindependent #idontneednoman“
That is totally some BULLSHIT! Here’s the thing, it’s not an expectation but a REQUIREMENT for a man to bring something to the table. If a woman works her ass to get where she needs to be, it is a requirement that the man in her life be at least half way where she is, if not better.
In your 20’s, it may be okay to get with someone who has potential. In your 30’s and 40’s, he should be striving to attain the things that he wants in life and has accomplished several of his goals. No one has time, for potential in their 30’s and 40’s…PERIOD. The table isn’t imaginary and no one has time to take care of a man. If a man has nothing to offer but promises of what he dreams of being, a big dick and potential…he can’t sit at my table….PERIOD!!
Now that you have heard my response, here is what several other women had to say:
“I’m sorry I make too much money and have too many life goals and material possessions as you call it to be holding any man down. I’m independent yes but I don’t have time to be taking care of any male but my 9-year-old son. Period, point-blank. I refuse to take care or hold down as you say any grown ass men.”
“I can’t with this post. It’s so hilarious to me that men seem to judge women based on what they have and want. Calling them, bitches, hoes, gold diggers and such. But expect a woman who has paid her dues, Independent, owns a home or have her own apt, a career and such to take care of “So -Called Grown Ass Man” that’s a little boy with real man dreams. If a man is already established and has his own and a woman asks for anything, she’s lazy, a gold digger. GTFOH with that BS!”
“That’s how they talk… Like they don’t need a man fa SHIT…. I b DAMED if I say some dumb shit like that cuz I do need a man to b embrace me, smack me on my ass when I come out the kitchen, fix a part on my car when I don’t feel like doing it, load my gun when I was to busy to do it, help me fold our laundry after I’ve washed, b my best friend as we grow old in diapers sitting on the porch lookin at the kids playin in the streets, and some good old fashion love-making…. U DAMN RIGHT I need my MAN! Fuck a bitter butt ASS broad who has been hurt by one, takes it out on the world and hasn’t had time getting up off that couch full of misery!”
“Um it does matter what a man brings to the table. Now money is not the only thing a man can bring to the table. See if he has a skill that can be utilized he is still a worthy man. A woman needs to know what is that mans intentions that seeks her. I do not advise a woman to engage a male any further if he has nothing to offer. Now if he was misled throughout his life and need guidance to get on the status a man need to be on, then I’m all for that HELPMEET. Because again these men I mentioned has brought something to the table. And we all know “The Table” is an expression that represent: a meeting of the mind, a place where the two come to an agreement.”
“I don’t know if you know, but a lot of guys these days are using women financially and awakening good women hearts with no intentions of loving her.”
“We didn’t say we don’t need or want a man. We said we want a Real man who got at least half his fuckin ducks in a row.”
“Imaginary? LOL the table is real….so is the bills and everything else on it. Yes we can hold it down but we don’t want any dead weight added to it….I won’t kick him when he’s down but he better figure out how to get up cause I got enough to carry~”
“Any woman that allows a man to enter into her home or her life with nothing to contribute is a FOOL!!! Also a man knows he is out of line if he is taking from a woman and not giving in return. You don’t have a steady job then you must be a handyman; mechanic, bob the builder, a chef, housekeeper, protector like POOKIE.”
“Wow, u putting all us good hard-working women in a class u have no right to speak on! I don’t have the time anymore to be taking care of any got damn man or holding him down until he can figure shit out! There are plenty of men who ain’t shit brah! Don’t be one of them! Been there and done that! Hell yeah if u ain’t bringing shit to my got damn table then get to stepping!!! Love does not pay the fuckin bills!!!!”
“Hell yes I was married for 15 years not his in-house hoe! His mutha fuckin wife and he didn’t work for the last six years of our marriage carried that man literally on my back when he couldn’t walk! Smh I’m so pissed off with these fucked up posts.” Smh and that so-called good man of mine started seeing another broad during the time my mama was dying because I wasn’t going to his gigs. So that’s why I will overlook a so-called good man with no goals no JOB no car no home! Fuck that and believe that!”
“I don’t agree. I’m strong & holding it down but I don’t need or want a man who will bring me down & bring more stress instead of adding to help build this empire.”
“I disagree it’s not expecting…but if he can’t bring nothing to the table…he needs not be in your life.”
“I can respect that because regardless of how much the other person makes, I would expect any adult to be gainfully employed. I don’t care what you do as long as you’re making an honest living and making an attempt at self-sufficiency. Nobody wants someone who’s just waiting to be taken care of and doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of??”