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Catch Me Elsewhere
Beautiful-people maker, oft-vegan, sneaker wearin’ know-it-all, young enough to learn more, truth seeker, opinion leader to opinion leaders…
Several of my readers are dealing with co-parenting and trying to figure it all out. What advice would you give?
“Co-parenting is what you do and who you are in your respective parental roles to a child/children. Whether or not the parents are married the roles remain the same, likely a mum and a dad. An ideal scene would be that the child and the parents functioned as a unit – a family with the shared goals and purposes – with very unique roles for all of the “players” in a family, serving very specialized functions. All of this is to say, the parental roles do not change because a couple ceases to be married, so make sure you continue to carry on being a parent to your child.”
What would you tell a couple who are newly engaged about marriage?
“I would tell a new couple that a marriage has at its roots the ultimate friendship. What are the goals and purposes for that relationship and how do they get carried out? It would be important to have some alignment, in order to increase the chances of success. Too often people treat marriage like something that will happen successfully on its own merely because you have taken a vow.
a. Your marriage: it’s like any other merger; the “terms of the agreement” are not necessarily for an eternity.
b. Your divorce: it doesn’t have to be as gruesome as it sounds. Quite simply, some things – many things – change, and/or come to an end.
c. Motherhood: where the magic of women is, where women become women.
d. Being a single mother: I have a much greater regard for what men do in the home, because there are times when I have to wear that hat.