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Catch Me Elsewhere
Want to completely freak your new partner out? Just go ahead and talk about marriage and see if you ever get a call back. Already named your future children… yeah you might want to leave those details out of conversations with your new dude if you really want things to last. He’ll be on the first train back to Single-town. Nothing screams “PSYCHO” more than a woman who is planning her wedding on Pinterest and doesn’t even have a fiancée.
Hey, uh… there’s no easy way to say this, but I’m a busy person and if someone texts me 700 times in one day, I’m gonna get a little worried that you might have obsessive tendencies. Preferably, I like a little distance in my relationship because conjoined twins is just not a good look for anyone. It drives me crazy when couples spend every single second of their day together. The funny thing is, if you talk to the people in relationships like this, they are dying for time away. So why not take it? Two words: trust issues. They don’t want to leave each other’s side or let one or the other have a night out with their friends because they don’t trust them. Who wants to be in a relationship where you can’t even have friends? I want to have my separate life and if you don’t have a life, I advise you start searching for one now.
On a serious note, no new relationship can survive with your ex on your mind, body, soul… I’ve made this classic mistake several times, like a damn fool, and it killed every single one of my new relationships because of it. It took me a long time to get over my ex because I believed if someone else kept me occupied that I could forget about him. Naw, girl. It doesn’t work that way. I learned that as long as I still talked to him, we would have a connection. I had to quit my ex like cigarettes.
If someone tells me how to live my life, don’t expect for me to stick around. Listening to constant bitching is just annoying. I hate fighting for stupid reasons and my stress level is already at the capacity to send me to the mental hospital, so I’m liable to break if someone is constantly nagging at me. I don’t really want to have a criminal record and end up on an episode of Snapped, so STFU and let me worry about me.
If your sex game is off, we can work at it, but if you consistently suck, then we probably don’t have good chemistry. I’m a big believer in the power of natural chemistry. If I feel like I am being fondled by a 15-year-old, it probably isn’t going to work out between us. If there is no natural desire for me to get FrEaKy with you, we aren’t gonna last. This girl needs her “Sex on fire” on the real, doe.
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Photo Credits: ashevillemarriages.com, Huffington Post.com, capitalfm.co.ke