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Catch Me Elsewhere
Lord have mercy! I swear I met the biggest losers! Grab a drink because this one takes the cake.
I’m walking out of 7-Eleven and as I’m walking out, this guy in a new Jaguar pulls up. The car is nice but I keep it pushing. As I get in my car, the driver gets out of his car and asks if he can talk to me. My first instinct is to say, “Hell No!” because the brother is not cute, AT ALL, but since I am trying not to be superficial, I roll the window down to see what he has to say.
He starts with telling me his name is Tony and he is not into playing games.
Now that should have been my first hint.
He goes on to say that he is a producer (who isn’t in LA) and that he works at Chase Bank at night (I guess “producing” isn’t very lucrative.) He asks can we exchange numbers and we do (WTF was I thinking?) But Wait!! He then says, “Your gonna have to call me because I’m kinda bourgeois.” For real??? I respond, “Well, I’m VERY bourgeois, so I guess we aren’t going to talk because I don’t call people either.” He laughs and says, “Alright, Tyese.”
Now, I NEVER tell anyone my name is Tyese. I always say Ty. I guess when I called his phone number, my WHOLE name came up. (Remember that fact for later)
The next day he calls and proceeds to tell me that he is looking for a “real woman.” That he has a house on Millionaire’s Row in Altadena. He owns a Porsche, a Fathom, a BMW and the Jag that I saw him in. He then asks me how much was my rent and after I told him, he proceeds to tell me that to show me what a “real *igga” he was, he was going to pay my rent for me. THEN, this fools tells me to hold on and he calls the bank. Now I don’t recall hearing any greeting but someone picks up when he clicks over. He asks the guy for his account balance and only gives his name, employee number and password. He gives the information and the guys tells him that he has $190,000 in his account.
After hanging up, he says, “I just wanted to make sure that you knew I was serious.”
I’m thinking, ” This MF is real flossy. Something had GOT to be up with this!” Yet, I still couldn’t figure it out….yet!
He then proceeds to ask where I bank, because he can deposit the money into my account. Uhhh…how about not! Then he says that he will just bring me the money. Again he asks me about my bank account. At this point, I’m trying to figure out what this fool’s angle is.
Now, let me be honest here. My BS radar was way up on this fool but I wanted to see where he was coming from. What dude just “gives” money 24 hours after he meets you? Even if he has it like that, a baller is NOT gonna trick off money in the first 24 hours of meeting you. Come on!
Back to the story…
He tells me that whatever I have in my account, he will triple it. That he knows that it’s hard to be a single mom and he is trying to prove what kind of man he is.
“Let me play his game,” I tell myself and tell him that I have $5000 in the bank. He then he asks,” is that exactly what you have because I want to make sure that I give you exactly triple that?” I told him yeah.
Fast forward to the next day…
He comes to my house and I meet him outside and get in the car. He’s driving a BMW, probably about a 1995. He tells me that this is his, “Hooptie.” He pulls out a joint and I’m like, “Oh hell no! You can’t smoke that with me in the car. That shit stinks and I don’t want my hair and clothes to smell like that shit.” He puts it away.
He asks where is there a Chase Bank and I tell him. He gets on the phone and calls “customer service” at Chase Bank and “orders” a cashier’s check in my name for $10,000 to be picked up at the branch by my house.” When he says the amount, he goes, “Is that enough?”
“You have got to be kidding,” is what I am thinking. “Yeah, that’s cool, ” is what I responded.
SO we wait a little while and then go to the bank. I was about to get and then changed my mind. “I’ll wait here,” I told him.
While he goes into the bank, I am trying to check the glove department. LOCKED!
The arm rest…NOTHING!
The back seat….CLEAN!
I’m trying to find something with an address or a name…
What I find on the door is something for a reunion at Jefferson High for the Class of 1964. Either this is his momma’s car or he borrowed it.
He walks back to the car and says, we need to go to you bank and put this in your account, now. I need the receipt so that I can use it as a 1099 tax deduction on my taxes. He hands me the cashier’s check.
Wait…wait…wait! “My account and a receipt…HELL TO THE NO!” is what I am saying in my head.
I look at the cashier’s check and handed it back to him and said, “I don’t want it.”
He looked surprised as hell, ‘You don’t like money?”
“Not that money, ” I responded.
Let me tell you that he must have thought that I fell off the fucking turnip truck! First of all the cashier’s check was so damn fake! All that it said was my name (in red), $10,000’s (in red), the date (in red) and Chase Bank at the top. WTF is that!! That fool had the check all the time. He came out with a cup of coffee, so I guess that’s what he was doing to waste some time. SMDH!!
Hell No, I wasn’t putting this shit into my account. How was I gonna explain to the Feds that I met this guy in Sunday and Tuesday, he gave me $10,000? No, I didn’t know that wasn’t his real name. No, I don’t know where he lives, etc., etc. This MF really thought that he was running game!
He commences to get on the phone and tells someone that he “is going to the mall to spend like 3 racks and did they want something?” If you don’t get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.
He drops me off and I immediately head to the computer. In the back of my head, I know that 1099 has nothing to do with tax write offs and I was right. Next, I called a couple of my “thug” guy friends to help me figure out what the scam was.
We figured out that he was probably going to ask me to give him what I had in the bank and keep what he gave me. When going over the “call” to the bank to get his account balance I realized, what bank can you call and not give your social security number, address, and/or mother’s maiden name? He had his homeboy “act” like he had called the bank. Not only that, who in the hell “orders” a damn cashier’s check over the phone? How did he know my whole name to put on the cashier’s check? Damn, Caller ID.
I wonder how many women, he actually got to do that. Upon talking to one of my friends, apparently he tried it with her. She sent me a picture text of the cashier’s check that he sent her to prove that he was a “real *igga.” The damn thing looked EXACTLY like mine!! She said that she met him at the gas station where he offered to fill up her gas tank. He was driving a Charger and told her his name was something else. WOW!!
The next day, I get a text from him asking, “Are you ready?” “Ready for what,” I asked. “Ready to get this money. I have your info, I can just wire it into your account.” WTF!
‘How do you have my information,” I asked and got no response.
I responded by saying, “If you got it like that, give me the MF cash but I am not putting shit into my account. PERIOD!” Of course, I got no response.
At this point, I’m wondering how much does this fool really know about me? I went and closed my account, put a fraud alert on it (after explaining this crazy ass story to the bank employee) and opened a new account.
Wouldn’t you know that I never heard anything back from him after my last text, so I sent him a text saying, “LMAO! You thought you had one, huh?”
He responded, “Yeah, I did. LOL!!”
At that some shit???
Have you ever had someone try to run a scam on you?
Have you ever been deceived in a relationship or dating situation?
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