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Catch Me Elsewhere
Single ladies, we may not have ever uttered the words aloud but we have asked ourselves the question time and time again: “Why can’t I find (or keep) a man?” Many of us have come up with the answer: “Because all the good men are taken.”
If we were being honest with ourselves and took a moment to evaluate our past relationships, many times it was US and not him that caused the relationship to end, or at least we played some part in it. As hard as it is to evaluate ourselves, it becomes necessary when trying to figure out why we can’t keep a man. If we don’t, we are doomed to continue making the same mistakes in our relationships over and over again. It may not be one single thing we are doing wrong. It may just be the type of personality characteristics we have that determine the type of women we are in a relationship. I have listed the most common characteristics that women portray when they are in relationships and how their personalities are damaging those relationships and resulting in them being single.
You want to make everyone around you happy, especially the men in your life. You bend over backwards to help him, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. You are a pushover and a doormat. Men do and say what they want to you, without any repercussions. Women who are people pleasers are usually abused by men because they lack self-esteem. They have a fear of being abandoned and they are easily disappointed by criticism. They cater to the men in their lives and often put his needs above their own. They have a fear of a man leaving them if they don’t do the things that they ask them to.
This type of woman has low self-esteem and doesn’t think that she is worthy of a good man, thus she makes poor choices in the men that she deals with. She often settles for whatever she can get, which often times is a man who is no good for her. She needs to be validated and constantly told that she is beautiful because she doesn’t think that she is. She is very jealous and because of this jealousy, she is very suspicious of her mate and men in general. Often times, she jumps to conclusions based on that jealousy. These types of women are attention seekers and are often times the girls that you see in the club, twerking in front of men to get attention. Usually, by seeking out attention, they attract the wrong types of men, who are only interested in one thing.
Before you start sending me comments for calling a woman a cow…I am referring to the saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Now, let me continue…This is the woman who allows men to get ALL the milk for free. They play the role of a wife; doing everything that a wife would do without the benefits and title. This type of woman can either live with her man or have her own place. She does his laundry, cooks for him, cleans up after him, takes care of his kids, shops for him and of course, she is having sex with him whenever he wants it. These types of women have in their minds that if they do all these for a man, they are showing him what she can do as a wife. Unfortunately, she rarely gets wife’d up.
This is the woman who on the “outside” has it all together. Let her tell you, “I don’t need a man for anything.” because she has a good job, her own house and a nice car. She is paying all her bills and holds it down by herself. She often attracts the man who is below her level and needs a woman with all the things that she has because he has little to none of them. She may end up being with a man who allows her to wear the pants in the relationship, however, it probably won’t work for long because she will feel like he has no backbone and either she will leave first or he will.
She is very aggressive and runs the show. They are used to controlling everything, including the men that they are with. She is competitive, persistent, determined and goes after what she wants…including men. She has a hard time finding a man and will tell people when asked, that she hasn’t found a man “worthy” of her. When in a relationship, she makes the decisions and rarely listens to the men that she dates because she “knows it all” and their opinions don’t matter to her anyway. She often scares men away because she is so critical and instead of trying to work with her mate, she is too busy issuing him commands. The alpha dominate woman often times finds herself alone or divorced because she wants to be the “man” in the relationship. This woman can also be the “Got My Stuff Together” woman, as well.
This is the woman who goes from hot to cold in a matter of minutes. One minute she is so in love with you and the next, she barely likes you. She wants to have sex and moments into the act, she doesn’t want you to touch her anymore. Men don’t know how to deal with, much less how to respond to this type of woman. She is happy in one moment and the next; she is cussing him out and shoving him out the door. A man does not want to deal with this type of woman and even a man who is a loser will walk away.
She has been burned so many times by men that she has lost count. She wants to find love but finds it hard to believe anything that men say. She is more often than not, also the insecure woman. This is the type of woman who checks his phone when he is sleep, goes on his Facebook page to see if any one particular woman is responding too many times to his posts. She has driven by his house to see if he is “really” at home and popped up when he is out with his friends. The problem with this woman is that she damages every relationship that she is in because she has trust issues. She will have to let down her guard and realize that every man is not trying to hurt her and that all men are not up to no good.
You know her, she needs a man for EVERYTHING. This woman is usually overly emotional and has to be with her man 24/7. When he is not with her, she calls and texts excessively. She has to know where he is, what he’s doing and who he’s with. This woman usually lacks confidence and often compares herself to other women. She will go through relationships quickly because most men will not deal with her…at least, not long-term.
This is the woman who takes in the stray dogs…I mean, men. She thinks she can help men get on their feet. These women are attracted to losers but will claim that he has potential. They move him in, clean him up, buy him clothes and give him money. They treat men like “projects,” and take great pleasure in helping them out and getting them together. These women take great pleasure in a man “needing” them. They show him off to their friends but little do they know, most men after they are “helped out” take all of the things that you gave them in an effort to “get him on his feet,” and run off with his “now together self” to the next woman. Ladies, if any or several of these characteristics describe you, as many are interchangeable, I would advise you to reevaluate yourself in relationships and really dig in to figure out why you are this way. Maybe you can find a good therapist to work through your issues. Regardless of what you decided to do, the first step is identifying that you have an issue and before you begin to point fingers at the men that you have dealt with, use this list to identify your personality and decide to make a change…today!
What can a woman do to keep from making the same mistakes in relationships?
Photo Credits: zoelifemagazine.com, madamenoire.com, ashy2classy.net, thejourneysuite.com