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Catch Me Elsewhere
“I swallow every time.” Not only was I surprised that this had become the topic of an otherwise uneventful cookout that had quickly gone from a cookout with pleasant, everyday conversation to adult after hour conversation, but I was damned surprised that she swallows every single time. And is that a hint of audacity in her voice as to say, “What? And you don’t?” Thank the high heavens my husband wasn’t present because I’d look like a complete slacker in the presence of this real life “bust it baby.” (If you don’t know what a “bust it baby” is I do not suggest you Google Plies. Don’t do it.)
Did some guy actually get over on her using the line, “Cum is good for your skin girl. Great protein. Why eat peanuts when you can meet your daily protein goal from these nuts?” (Oh. Don’t sleep I can all but guarantee that some fella has said this to more than one unsuspecting young lady who took, and swallowed, the bait.) Based on her confidence, however, I don’t think her dedication to swallowing every time was a matter of a guy getting over on her, it was a matter of her completing the job.
Don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing wrong with taking a man you’re committed to all in and saving yourself a few days of laundry by cleaning up the mess yourself without tossing the sheets into the washer at the very moment you pull back. Nothing wrong at all. But every single time though? My word! That is a challenge that I would be hard pressed to commit to.
Now that the cat was let out of the bag, we went ahead and took it for a walk (I know that cat’s aren’t “walked” but just roll with me here) because Swallow Every Time had officially taken the cookout in another direction. Let me say that this was not a “ladies night out” event. There were plenty of men within earshot of Swallow Every Time’s statement, so you know that the obligatory follow-up questions were coming by the dozens. The only thing that would have made the scene better were if she so happened to be licking an ice cream cone or some other finger licking – and swallowing, let us not forget swallowing – good desert.
One guy, who I’m not all that certain was at the cookout until the words “swallow” and “every time” were uttered, popped a squat right next to the lady of the hour and asked in disbelief, “Every time?” I swear he inched closer, “What makes you do it?” Seemed like he was fishing for tips on how he could motivate whatever honey he had at home who obviously was not as thorough as our friend Swallow Every Time. With not even an ounce of shame (not that she should be ashamed), her response was basically, “Why not?” She kept it simple for all of us over analytical folks and simply said that she likes doing it.
Well then. What more can be said?
The guys were quite satisfied with her answer. One even said, “See ladies? You’d like it if you tried it.” Uh-ha-ha-ha…shut it dude. The ladies, minus myself because I was more than satisfied with her answer as well, hammered her with question after question. My girlfriend, who has many jobs, blow jobs not being one of them, was not satisfied with her answer and asked, “What’s to like? That shit isn’t disgusting to you?”
Response: “If you’re going to do it. Do it. When you like what you’re doing you’re good at. I’m good at it.”
Whoop. There it is.
So what say you ladies?
Are you an overachiever and go for extra credit every time; or, do you not think of swallowing as extra credit and consider it a necessary part of the assignment?
The assignment is not complete until you swallow; or lastly, are you utterly repulsed by the thought of performing oral sex, let alone swallowing?
If you answered yes to the last question, have I got some converter tips for you!
Can’t talk about swallowing without talking about ways to get there!
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