This is one of those questions that everyone at some point has battled over. It is different for everybody, depending on how you left things at the end of your relationship, whether you have children, and whether, actually, you want to be friends with the person. Here are a few things to consider when deliberating:
Do you still have feelings for this person, or do you suspect that they may still want more than just friendship with you? If so, this means that there is instantly an imbalance which will make a neutral friendship difficult. You need to make sure that you are both over each other until you can begin building a friendship.
If there are children involved, it’s obviously desirable to stay on friendly terms with your ex. This means that it isn’t just your feelings you have to take into consideration, but those of the children’s too. That doesn’t mean to say you have to pretend for the kids – try to work things out in private together and be honest with each other. Say that you want to remain on good terms and that you want the children to be in their life too.
Sometimes it simply comes down to asking yourself if you want to be friends with this person, and your instinct will tell you yes or no. It may be that you feel it is too painful to be just friends, or perhaps it ended badly and you don’t wish to have them in your life anymore. Either way, you know what’s best for you and you should follow your feelings.
If you have a new partner, whether you met them recently through eHarmony or through friends, you should be sensitive to their feelings. Be honest and open about your relationship with your ex-partner, and reassure them that it is just friendship and nothing more. Of course, if there are children involved, your new partner should be the understanding of the situation.
If you’re looking to move on from your ex and haven’t found anyone yet, online dating is a good way of easing yourself back into dating. You can also tailor your search according to what you want, which means that you are matched with compatible singles.
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