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Catch Me Elsewhere
Dating is not fun and it does not help that the world is filled with stupid people, both men and women. First dates are awkward. You never know what to wear or what types of conversations should be off-limits. If you are unlucky and get something in your teeth, your new date would prefer to stare at the piece of food lodged between your two front teeth than risk embarrassing you by motioning the food in teeth gesture. I don’t know which is worse. The second date comes with way too much pressure and you know what you are expected to do on third dates (which can suck especially if you don’t know how you feel yet about the other person or still on a reunion tour with an ex or two). Anyway you slice it, dating is tough. Now what can we do to make dating even more difficult? Add cheaters to the mix! Why not?
I know that cheating comes in many shapes and sizes but types of cheating I have personally experienced comes in the form of an ex trying to get back together with me while with someone else (or married). The other type of cheater was a flat-out liar and someone who I never actually went on a real “date” with. The first type of hound is a lot easier to fend off but the sly snake oil salesman is harder to read. You know the type of serial cheater who knows every random restaurant and dive bar in a 100-mile radius of your home? The person you meet in a top-secret location (but, the problem with that is those secret locations are not so secret after all). That guy always wants to meet you after his “dinner” at these local spots or at your place? Well, I dated one of those in San Francisco and I should have known when he always wanted to come over meant he was hiding something. We did go out to dinner once – but that was like 45 minutes outside the city. Earth to Melany – turned out this dirty dog was engaged and I found out the hard way through mutual friends.
Top-secret locations also include vacation spots where a dog hit on me over the weekend (he was married with two kids and not ashamed to tell my friend and I). What did I do with this guy? Well, I gave him my mom’s cell number. Why? Because I learned my “snarkiness” from the queen bee and thought she would give this asshole a piece of her mind. (Or, it may have been the Long Island Ice Teas flying out of bars into my mouth making me do it). Either way, he got the point and was not too happy when reaching my mom on the other end of the telephone (well, neither was my mom but that is a different blog post http://melanysguydlines.com/how-to-party-like-a-surfer-dont-yell-leave-your-shoes-at-home/
Sorry mom! You are a good sport!
Once a cheater always a cheater and yes, I believe this. I also believe that women are just as guilty as men. If you are a cheater you have no integrity. Man-up or Woman-up and break it off with the person before you hop into bed with another. Dirty dogs – you could learn a thing or two from Teddy Brewski (my sparkly clean dog).
Photo Credit: go4pix.info, catchacheatingspousesecret.com