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Many single moms must have experienced the problem of awkwardness when you try to introduce your boyfriends to your children. There are many articles on when to introduce your child to your boyfriend, however, here is a solution to avoid the awkwardness and get them both to be comfortable with each other.
Children are often very protective about their mothers. Sometimes, they may worry about you more than you worry about them. They even make up their minds to not like your choice of men even before they meet them. Their opinions and negative reactions would make you reconsider the prospect of dating itself and making you question if it is worth all the trouble.
You must know through personal experience or by listening to others that it is not a good idea to have a man meet your children on the first date. As you get comfortable with your man, start talking about him to your child. This way, your child will feel informed, and will not spontaneously reject him during the first meet. In the book, I Can’t Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need, author and clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia, Peter Sheras, suggests that parents make sure that they are in a serious relationship before introducing their child to a new boyfriend. “The commitment is the most important piece because, when there’s commitment, that becomes obvious to the kids.”
Today, children have to be respected as individuals and have their own opinions that need to be taken seriously. So, ask for your child’s opinion about your man, or get some dating advice so that your child will feel secure and respected.
In the present times, children do not like being treated like they are kids. They feel its lame when a mom’s boyfriend tries to act too cool, or overly friendly. Ensure that your boyfriend understands that your child should be treated as a responsible individual or a person, and not like a two-year old. Your boyfriend should talk to your children like he wants to get to know them and not just because he has to.
Children do have an instinct and can sense when certain men are not right for their mothers. When they tell you, do not reject their claims outright. Instead, sit with them and try to understand their reasoning behind the opinion. Communication is highly important when dealing with personal relationships. Single mothers and their boyfriends should talk and listen to the children. Improving communication will enable a smooth relationship and get rid of any awkwardness that you generally face.
Shruti Suresh is a professional content writer and regularly contributes articles to various online blogs and journals. She has a keen interest in blogging and focuses on many different areas like fashion, beauty, lifestyle, science and self-improvement.