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Catch Me Elsewhere
45 is not that old. Hell, I’m 38 and in pretty good health, so I “thought” why not give this 45 year old man a chance. He’s tall, handsome and all that good stuff, so when he contacted me on the dating website, I thought, “Why not?” Let the bullshit begin…
Our initial conversation was cool, nothing to write home about. Now, the second one, (rolls my eyes), now that one, reveled a couple of things. First of all, most of the conversation was monopolized with him talking about his health issues. How he used to have a slipped disc and ALL the treatments that he had to correct it, including the settlement that he received from it. And oh, before I forget this, he needed that settlement to pay back child support!!!
Then, he proceeded to tell me about his high blood pressure, his knee that has been bothering him, etc. etc. FOR REAL!!! Are you seriously gonna run down your medical history and have this whole conversation by yourself? Yes, BY HIMSELF, because what can I really interject here besides, “Oh Really and UM MM HM MM.”
Continuing the conversation, I asked where he lived and do you know what that fool told me? “TRANSITIONAL HOUSING.” WHAT THE FUCK?? “EXCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” He repeated what he said and my thoughts were immediately running to, “EX CON.” Isn’t that where they send people when they get out of jail or something?
I could not get off the phone fast enough. I had to quickly say, “You know what? I don’t think this is going to work.” Of course, he asked, “Why?” “Let me run it down to you,” I said. “First of all, you have too much going on, health wise and all hell…just too much going on. You are 45 and breaking down. Your knees, your back, your high blood pressure. What the hell am I going to do with all THAT! Our whole conversation was about YOU and tell me where you live again?” “Transitional housing,” he murmured. “My point exactly! Deuces!”
I guess that invisible sign on my head, that can only be seen by idiots and losers can even be seen on a picture through the computer. I have had countless facials, used different facial cleansers and exfoliates and I STILL have been unable to get that invisible sign off my head. Oh well, another one bites the dust and my journey continues….
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