I am constantly reminded by my mother about the shit that we (my siblings and I) didn’t do as a kid when the family is altogether. Take for instance, our last family torture trip….excuse me, vacation, Memorial Day weekend to visit my brother in Vegas. Now, let me start with this disclaimer, I LOVE MY MOTHER but DAMN, she can take me there like no other!
So the kids are playing around with my brother, who they haven’t seen since Christmas and TJ says something, (I don’t even remember what he said. I am sure that I wasn’t paying attention.) to his uncle and the next thing I heard was, “You guys NEVER would say something like that to your uncle!” I look up and my brother and sister have looks on their faces, like, “What the hell is she talking about?” I just shake my head and ignore it because it is usually better for me not to say anything or all hell will break out. Next thing I know, she is going all in about what we didn’t do as kids: we didn’t talk back to adults, we didn’t leave our toys all over the place, we didn’t question what we ate, we didn’t, we didn’t, we didn’t…” Now, I am not sure whose house these perfect kids lived in that never did any of those things but it sure as hell wasn’t mine!
Our parents lived in a time that “children were seen and not heard.” My child lives in a time where “he is seen and most definitely HEARD.” TJ makes so much noise that when I am on the phone, people think that there are 10 kids in my house. That is just the way that he has always been. Maybe it’s an only child thing and they like to make it “sound” like they have a lot of siblings. I am not sure but the child does make A LOT of noise.
Now, I said all that to say this, I don’t know about my siblings, but I don’t want to hear about these imaginary kids that lived in my house growing up, that no one saw but my mother. I don’t want to hear that they ate everything on their plates, no matter what it was because they didn’t buy the food and they ate what she bought…ALL THE TIME! Which reminds me of a time when my little brother didn’t want to eat his peas and my mother told him that there were kids starving in Africa. My brother responded, “Then lets send them to Africa!” I guess the imaginary “good” kids were on vacation or something that day.
I don’t want to hear about all the things that we didn’t do because my mother had put the fear of God in us and would “knock us into the middle of next week” if we didn’t do what she said. Now let me state for the record, that I have been knocked into the middle of next week on several occasions and it was like Alice in Wonderland, trying to find my way back to the week that I had got knocked out of. I wish those imaginary kids had been around to take my place on those days!!
Simply put, I don’t want to hear it! My thing is this, my child is MY CHILD! Let me raise him the way I want to raise him. He is not disrespectful or an unruly child. Does he have a sense of humor? Yes! Will he say things sometimes trying to be silly? Yes, all kids do! Does that warrant a whole speech about the imaginary kids? NO!!! I don’t want to EVER hear about those damn perfect imaginary kids again!!!!
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.